How to be a dad and a gamer and still get a good night’s sleep – Reader’s Feature
How to Be a Dad and a Gamer: Balancing Sleep and Passion
A Passion Through the Years
How to be a dad - At 47, I’ve spent over three decades immersed in gaming, from the clunky Atari 2600 to modern consoles. My earliest memories are filled with the hum of arcade machines at seaside resorts and caravan sites, where games like Combat and the Spectrum 128K were more than just entertainment—they were milestones. I’ll never forget the frustration of painstakingly inputting game code from a magazine, only to discover the result was a glitch-ridden mess that never truly worked. Yet, these early challenges only deepened my love for the medium, which has remained a constant source of joy throughout my life.
Before fatherhood, gaming was my escape. Whether I was playing on the Amiga 1200 or diving into Nintendo and PlayStation worlds, it occupied my thoughts even when I wasn’t holding a controller. I’d read reviews and news in Digitiser on Teletext and later on Metro’s GameCentral pages. Those were the days when time wasn’t an issue, and the thrill of a new game could last for weeks—or even months. But now, as a father, that rhythm has changed dramatically.
The Challenge of Fatherhood
Becoming a husband and father has transformed my schedule. My eldest, now two years and four months old, and my younger son, 11 months, have introduced a new rhythm to my days. What once felt like a leisurely hobby is now a delicate balancing act, where every hour is precious and must be strategically allocated. The days of marathon gaming sessions are gone, replaced by the reality of a parent who must prioritize sleep, meals, and family time over endless hours of play.
Initially, I tried to maintain old routines. After the kids were in bed, I’d usually have an hour for a game. My wife, who had little interest in gaming, would often go to sleep by 9:30 PM, giving me a brief window to reclaim my entertainment. This worked for a while—until early mornings and sleep regressions began to take their toll. With kids waking as early as 5 AM, and the infamous four-month regression period, I’ve found myself exhausted by midday, struggling to keep up with the demands of both parenting and my love for games.
Reevaluating Gaming Habits
My current gaming habits reflect a necessary evolution. I’ve moved away from sprawling epics requiring hours of commitment to more compact experiences that fit my fragmented schedule. In the past two years, I’ve tried dozens of games—Metroid Prime, Rise of the Tomb Raider, and A Plague Tale: Innocence—but most ended in frustration. These titles demanded long immersion, and I often felt like I was sacrificing time for a reward that never fully materialized.
“I used to be able to burn the candle at both ends, but now I’m questioning whether gaming is something I even enjoy anymore.”
The shift in my preferences is clear. Long novels, epic films, and sprawling game worlds no longer hold the same appeal. Instead, I now value games that respect my limited time—titles that can be completed in a self-contained hour or two without leaving me drained. Even the shortest of these, like Firewatch or Spider-Man: Miles Morales, require focus that feels overwhelming when I’m rushing to finish before the kids wake up.
Strategies for Balance
Despite the challenges, I’ve discovered that certain games offer a perfect blend of narrative and gameplay. Titles like Firewatch, Uncharted: The Lost Legacy, Abzû, and Luigi’s Mansion 3 have become anchors in the chaos of parenthood. These games provide satisfaction without demanding long-term commitment. For example, Abzû took just a couple of evenings to complete, yet left me fulfilled without the pressure of a lengthy dedication. Similarly, Mario Kart World has become a reliable escape, delivering quick thrills without the need to dive deep into complex mechanics.
My approach to gaming has shifted. I no longer chase the next big release but instead seek titles that align with my current lifestyle. The open-ended exploration of games like Spider-Man: Miles Morales, with its labyrinthine map and endless distractions, fills me with anxiety. Now, I focus on games that respect my time, allowing me to enjoy them without the stress of a sleepless night. This reevaluation has taught me that being a dad doesn’t mean abandoning gaming—it means adapting it to fit the rhythm of family life.
Conclusion: Embracing a New Rhythm
Being a dad and a gamer requires flexibility and a reimagined approach to time. What once was a lifelong passion has evolved into a cherished but mindful hobby. By prioritizing sleep and family, I’ve found a way to enjoy gaming without sacrificing the time I need to be present for my children. The key is not to eliminate gaming entirely but to adjust it so it complements rather than competes with the demands of fatherhood. In doing so, I’ve discovered a new balance that allows me to stay connected to the games I love while being there for the ones I care about most.