Being 23 is already hard enough, now I’m meant to have the ‘ultimate summer’ too
Being 23 is already hard enough – Summer has always been a source of joy for me—the golden sun, the freedom of picnics in the park, the comfort of drinks in the garden, and the way evenings stretch into longer, warmer days. Yet, this year, the season feels different. It’s not just about enjoying the weather anymore; it’s about *optimising* every moment, or so the latest trends suggest.
The rise of ‘summermaxxing’
In an era dominated by productivity culture, the concept of ‘summermaxxing’ has taken hold. This idea, popularised by figures like Steven Bartlett, frames summer as a time to push boundaries and maximise experiences, or risk feeling regretful when winter returns. For Gen Z, this mindset has become a constant presence, shaping expectations and routines.
My Instagram feed is now a relentless stream of content promoting the ‘perfect summer.’ There are videos of people packing for their dream vacations, images of girls zipping between Greek islands, and influencers urging followers to ‘take a break from work to focus on summer.’ These posts create a curated vision of what a ‘good summer’ should look like, one that’s filled with adventure and socialising. But for someone juggling a full-time job, personal finances, and the occasional dating mishap, this pressure feels overwhelming.
Even my own mother has joined the chorus, reminding me this week that I’ve been ‘stuck inside’ despite returning from a girls’ trip just two days prior. My bosses, too, seem oblivious to the fact that their office hasn’t moved outside. It’s as if the entire world is watching, waiting for me to live up to an unspoken standard of summer living. And I’m not alone in this.
‘Sunshine guilt’ and the psychological toll
According to Dr. Olena Edwards-Skadowska, a psychotherapist, the ‘ultimate summer’ narrative is now a cultural obsession. ‘It’s everywhere—on social media, in advertising, and in casual conversations,’ she explains. ‘This creates real psychological pressure, making it feel like every weekend should be a highlight reel. When that’s not possible, the rest of the time starts to feel like failure.’
“The ‘ultimate summer’ narrative is everywhere right now. It’s on social media, in advertising, in casual conversation—and it creates a very real psychological pressure.”
Research from Skyscanner underscores this phenomenon. Their findings reveal that 43% of Gen Z travellers prioritise trips that will look visually appealing online. It’s no wonder that I, too, find myself drawn to the allure of an aesthetic beach picture or a picture-perfect al fresco dinner. Yet, when I’m scrolling through these posts while stuck in a hot office, the contrast only amplifies my sense of inadequacy.
This feeling of missing out, known as ‘sunshine guilt,’ often creeps in during quiet evenings. It’s that nagging thought: *Why am I not out enjoying the sun when I could be?* Psychologist Carolina Traverso notes that this guilt is especially acute for those in their 20s. ‘You can’t let go of the idea that you should be doing something exciting, even when you’re tired and just want to rest,’ she says.
“It tends to appear when we’re tired and, for that reason, choose to stay in, yet you can’t let go of the thought that we should have gone outside.”
As someone in my ‘decade of freedom,’ the pressure to find myself during these years is relentless. The belief that 20s are meant for adventure, not routine, is ingrained in our culture. If I’m not enjoying the summer now, when else will I be able to? This mindset adds to the stress, making every moment feel like a missed opportunity.
Deidre Bowen of Mental Health UK echoes this sentiment. ‘This is a common experience among young people,’ she says. ‘They often feel a heightened pressure to be constantly out socialising, compared to older generations who may have more flexibility.’ Many in their 20s are also battling the urge to fill their schedules, driven by a fear of missing out. Social media only intensifies this, as it paints a distorted picture of others’ lives—endless social energy, nonstop excitement, and a perfect balance of work and play.
Reclaiming the summer experience
After two heatwaves this year, I’ve decided to shift my perspective. Instead of chasing an idealised version of summer, I’m choosing to embrace the moments I do have. Being in my 20s, working a full-time job, trying to save money, navigating dating disasters, and maintaining friendships is already a full-time effort. Adding the pressure to live up to an ‘ultimate summer’ feels like a luxury I can’t afford.
Some days will be filled with holidays, sunbathing, and dinners with friends. Others will involve quiet evenings in the garden with a Diet Coke and my dog. The key, I’ve learned, is to focus on what nourishes me rather than what impresses others. As Dr. Edwards-Skadowska suggests, ‘It’s important to listen to the body. Does it need rest, or a change of pace? And if so, what activity might feel genuinely restorative?’
“Regardless of external pressures or whether the sun is shining, it is important to listen to the body. Does the body call for rest, or for a change of pace? And if so, what kind of activity might feel genuinely restorative?”
Real mental health during summer, she adds, means doing exactly as much as you need—not as much as you think you should. This perspective has helped me appreciate the ordinary moments that make up most people’s summers. A quiet evening at home, a walk in the park, or even a slow morning with a book can be just as fulfilling as a festival under the stars.
Combatting FOMO: Tips for a more balanced summer
If you’re feeling the weight of summermaxxing, here are some strategies to ease the pressure: 1. **Reduce the pressure**. Remember, social media is a highlights reel, not a reflection of reality. Not everyone is living their ‘best summer’—and that’s perfectly fine. 2. **Question your expectations**. When you feel low for not having plans, ask yourself if you’re being fair, kind, and reasonable. Sometimes, the best summer moments come from unplanned spontaneity. 3. **Celebrate the small joys**. A Diet Coke in the garden, a quiet chat with a friend, or even a solo walk can add up to a meaningful summer. 4. **Prioritise rest and reflection**. The ‘decade of freedom’ is a time to explore, but it’s also a time to recharge. Let your body decide what it needs, whether it’s a long break or a brief escape. 5. **Be kind to yourself**. The ultimate summer isn’t about perfection—it’s about what works for you. Embrace the moments that feel authentic, even if they don’t fit the Instagram aesthetic.
By shifting my focus from the ‘ultimate summer’ to the simple joys of being present, I’ve started to feel more at peace with the season. It’s not about having everything all at once, but about finding balance and meaning in the days as they unfold. Summer, after all, is a time to grow, to rest, and to enjoy the little things—without the need to overachieve.
So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the summermaxxing hype, take a breath. Remember that the real magic lies in the moments you create, not the ones you see online. Whether it’s a quiet evening or a wild adventure, your summer is valid as long as it’s your own.
